You're Engaged!...Now What?

3 Ways to Calm the Hell Down

They asked, you said yes and now you’re blissfully engaged!

This euphoria doesn’t last long once you start getting bombarded with questions: when’s the big day, what venue, what’s the dress like? 

Then come the opinions: well you just have to use my caterer, you just have to invite aunt Susie who you haven’t seen since you were three, you just can’t get married in a jumpsuit, no wedding I’ve ever been to has served only pizza and beer. 

Ugh, shut upppppp. Amirite?!

Whether you chose to power through the planning of a big wedding bash or decide to say “f*ck it” & just elope, I have some sage advice for newly engaged couples to get you started on the journey to I do

Prioritize

Before you even start planning, I want you and your partner to pick the three most important things to y’all for your wedding day

This advice comes directly from A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration by Meg Keene. 

For example:

My three priorities were looking ***flawless, videography, and great food. 

Lindsey’s were looking fly AF, great food, and making sure our guests enjoyed themselves. 

Obsessing about ceremony chairs wasn’t worth our time when the way ~*we*~ looked was more important to us. 

PICK YOUR THREE THINGS AND STICK TO THEM. 

If whatever decision you are trying to make doesn’t affect those priorities, just make a damn decision and move on. 

 

Get off Pinterest

Yes, you read that right. 

Seriously.

Get. Off. Pinterest.  

Pinterest is a black hole.

You will spend hours pinning and not actually planning.

More importantly, Pinterest yearning leads to real-world disappointment

That floral wall you love so much? That gorgeous Hayley Paige gown? Oh, farmhouse tables? Just have to have a vintage lounge area? Yeah, you’re already looking at over $30,000. 

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST BE ON PINTEREST, PICK YOUR FIVE FAVORITE IMAGES. JUST FIVE FOR INSPIRATION. 

Anything more than that and not only will your inspiration board result in a million dollar vision, it won’t look like your wedding anymore — call yourself Dr. Frankenstein, as you’ve just stitched together bits from other people’s weddings to bring yours to life.

 

Feel Your Feelings

Finally, what do you two want? 

OR, HOW DO YOU WANT TO REMEMBER YOUR WEDDING DAY? 

Once the food is eaten, everyone goes home, the hangover subsides, and the flowers die, what you have left of that day is your memories. 

So, how did your day make you feel?

Because this is the start of your marriage

Your wedding should only have positive feelings associated with it. 

And when you’re beginning to feel stressed, just remember: as long as y’all both say hell yes (or some version of that), your wedding is a resounding success. Congratulations!

-S

PS: if you aren't already, peruse this site. APW is a feminist take on the wedding industry that got me through my planning because my wife was stubborn and didn't want to elope


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